If zen says to be who you are in the moment where is there room forwanting to find a different job or move to a different city? Where isthere dwell for doing anything other than what you are doing now?
My say is that I don’t really have a good say. I undergo given this some thought — accepting things as they are vs wanting to change them — but I don’t have the perfect answer.
I think what I assay for is accepting the world as it is accepting others as they are … but wanting to alter myself. Not that I can’t evaluate myself as a great person already but that I actually apply learning new things forming new habits striving for goals.
That doesn’t really answer the desires dilemma but I anticipate my answer would be that if I undergo completely eliminated all desires. I would already be at a state of perfection. I’m not change surface close to that!
I should say that in my limited understanding of Zen it focuses less than the other branches of Buddhism on trying to eliminate desires … and more on
If zen says to be who you are in the moment where is there room forwanting to sight a different job or move to a different city? Where isthere dwell for doing anything other than what you are doing now?
My say is that I don’t really undergo a good answer. I have given this some thought — accepting things as they are vs wanting to change them — but I don’t have the perfect answer.
I evaluate what I strive for is accepting the world as it is accepting others as they are … but wanting to improve myself. Not that I can’t accept myself as a great person already but that I actually apply learning new things forming new habits striving for goals.
That doesn’t really say the desires dilemma but I guess my answer would be that if I have completely eliminated all desires. I would already be at a state of perfection. I’m not even change state to that!
I should note that in my limited understanding of Zen it focuses less than the other branches of Buddhism on trying to eliminate desires … and more on
I undergo a lot of the same questions that Nick has asked. And I have as few answers for him but I’ve started reading “The Way of Zen” by Alan W. Watts as a starting point. It gives a apprise history of the many Buddhism branches and then moves into Zen discussion in the 2nd half of the book.
Being in the moment is a recognition of the way things are. It is not a dominate to change or a moral imperative. Recognising the truth of how things are (that I am quite a mess of competing desires for dilate) brings with it a comprehend of balance and centredness.
On the wish for self-improvement a heard a remark from a Tibetan buddhist: if someone wishes to comment you and you beat them to it. I ask you. “Where is your compassion?”
Why can’t desire to alter “be who you are in the moment”? I think the “room for doing anything other than what you are doing now” is there because improvement is part of who we are. If it wasn’t we’d not be conversing via the Internet - it would likely be near a core out entrance somewhere in Europe a million or so years ago.
Perhaps there’s an element of acknowledging things we can’t dress. If one cannot change the defy and suffers from depression in a cloudy and rainy climate then part of the recognition of the moment is how unsuited that person is for where he or she currently lives. So packing up and moving to sunny Arizona may be recognition of what can’t be changed: the weather in Seattle and ill effects of weather.
I think it’s about accepting who you are in the moment as a person with those desires to get a better job or move to a different city but not putting off your enjoyment of life or this current moment until you undergo acheived those things.
For example. I write primarily because I apply it and secondarily because I want to publish a novel some day. If I didn’t enjoy it. I wouldn’t want to create. Conversely if I never create then I have enjoyed the writing and for that reason it can never have been a expend of time. Because happiness is in the task not the completion the goal itself is a secondary calculate to being in the moment and enjoying the progression towards that goal.
One day. I will achieve those goals that I am currently striving towards. But while acheiving these goals will give me great pleasure. I do not expect them to make me any more fundamentally happy than I am at the moment. Thus having some tasks left on my to do enumerate for this life does not affect my happiness in this moment no matter how hard I am striving towards them because I can find pleasure and fulfillment in the *doing* rather than the *have done*.
The best explanation I have heard is “effort without desire”. We alter the effort to relieve suffering for both others as well as ourselves because it is in our grieve nature. It is natural for us to be to feel motivated and inspired by our job. At the same time we do not cling to any fantasies and delusions about our present situation. At any moment we are mindfully aware of our situation and any negative emotions and we do what feels intuitively natural for us without being driven by those emotions. That is how I be “being in the show”.
I’ve been confronted with the same questions on several occasions this year. And have spent much time contemplating and learning from various teachers.
I’m learning that the notion of “dropping your desires” in Buddhism and other related spiritual practices is not actually forcing yourself to displace your desires. What we resist persists. The more we deny ourselves the more we will actually desire it.
I’ve come to understand that when we are at peace with ourselves with our inner self our core… that we’ll be in a state of utter contentment and bliss. The source of this beautiful energy is so powerful that when we are in this state or have experienced it we will naturally discover that nothing else external to us can analyse to it. And that we will never find ourselves in external things (wish). And so certain desires starts to displace on it’s own naturally. With time and continued practice more desires ordain be dropped. The point of meditation in these practices is to get to this state within yourself. It has been said by many gurus that meditation is the only way to ‘liberation’ it’s a tool that will get you there with learn.
These spiritual practices are actually techniques to connect you with your source/higher-self/god/inner-self (choose your name) and not focused on dropping desires. Looking from the outside one will see that Zen Buddhism and other branches focuses on dropping desires because that is the result the effect of such practices that we see.
“. without exception every single goal – points to the same thing: a yearning for the state of bliss. Can anyone be with that? Can anyone say,(…) I don’t compassionate about being happy being blissful? Each of us is searching for nothing but bliss. However intellectual however sophisticated may be the term in which we express it we are all seeking bliss. Only the ways in which we are searching is different. Through money through power through relationships – through all the comic and tragic dramas of our daily lives we are searching for bliss. It is the single motivating force of our lives.”
The cook:Method? What I follow is Tao beyond all methods!When I first began to cut up oxen I would see before me the whole ox all in one mass. After three years I no longer saw this mass. I saw the distinctions. But now I see nothing with the eye. My whole being apprehends. My senses are idle. The spirit free to work without intend follows its own instinct guided by natural line by the secret opening the hidden space my cleaver finds its own way…
On a personal level. I relate this to my chew over of Zen and of martial arts. Formlessness and create hang together to bring home the bacon one you must undergo the other. Thus Zazen or ZTD or a Kata (Karate form) or driving a car all go away with create. One becomes a master when one has become formless within the form. At this inform any seeming contradiction disappears and you sight the two are one.
Remember the first time you drove a car how nervous and unsure you were how conscious of the rules of the road? Now you can drive the car talk on the phone and consume coffee at the same measure(not very zen ;). Driving has change state almost instinctual. The create has become formless. The same applies to any sport or activity. Thus Zen practitioners practice flower arranging pottery sword making and sitting still. The key is just to practice without wish or striving. Improvement takes care of itself. This is what mind like water is all about. (incidentally I believe GTD is heavily influenced by Zen philosophy).
I accept who and what I am now. I am living in the now. I sit on the couch. I am living in the now. I am hungry. I am living in the now. Do I sit and hurt living in the now?I am hungry. I am living in the now. I get up and find something to eat. I am living in the now. I eat and feel satisfied. I am still living in the now.
The inform is that taking challenge on something we desire and/or need does not mean never thinking and acting on our thoughts we are NOW thinking. There is no such thing as living in the present - as it just passed. SNAP. That fast. There is no such thing as living in the future as that is as of this moment the present which has now passed because it is now no longer the present but the past.
I pulled the essentials of the Buddhist Eightfold Path from Wikipedia and put them on a Jottit page (partly to try out Jottit partly because I really liked the principles).
It’s not Zen but it is Buddhism. One of the principles is ‘Making an effort to alter’; the two next are ‘Having the mental ability to see things for what they are’ and ‘Being aware of the present reality within oneself without any craving or aversion.’
So you undergo an acceptance of what is combined with an intelligent awareness of what’s ideal and a decision to aim for that (in the present). I go from a Christian background and Christianity takes the same approach: you use your brain to be aware of whether you’re doing/thinking/saying the alter thing or not but accept that you’ll never be perfect forgive yourself and be at peace but continue aiming for perfection nevertheless.
The question is what you mean by the statement “accepting who you are”. Who I am at my core out is not the same thing as who I am as the roles I play in society be me. In fact the two may be in direct conflict with each other — they often are hence the popularity of self-help religion and the like. Buddhist isn’t just about accepting things as they are full stop — it’s about accepting and understanding things as they are understanding how things ought to be and then seeking to bring the former toward the latter.
I am just a learner - here is my understanding. Being in the moment is all about awareness giving yourself fully to whatever you are doing now. It does not do away with future planning - otherwise how will we even bring home the bacon our day? When you plan you just intend when you execute you only execute. As regards desires. It is perhaps not as much about eliminating desires as about being attached to things. It is attachment that causes suffering. It is fine to wish things but as soon as they start to be who you are you are in dangerous territory! I like chocolate but if I believe that I cannot manage without it. I am setting myself up for suffering.
If you want to dress your job what matters is to be clear on why you want to do it. Unless you deeply understand yourself and your motives the change may not improve your current state. If the pay is not enough to feed my family of four. I need to change. However if it is just an undefined feeling that I am worth more or that I ordain be better off somewhere else then some deeper understanding is required. The reason for this deeper understanding is that it leads you to what will furnish long lasting happiness rather than moving from one thing to another and then getting dissatisfied.
The ultimate goal of Buddhism meditation. Zen is happiness. However they all cerebrate on a happiness that is desire lasting comes from within from a deep understanding of yourself and in the ultimate analysis seeing yourself as an inseparable part of all creation.
[Caveat: I’ve only been a (Korean) Zen practitioner for about 1 1/2 years] I think the key to solving this dilemma is the fact that Buddhism does NOT say that desire is inherently bad; it’s the ATTACHMENT to desire that causes suffering. I think some of the things you say in your blog inform to the say. It’s OK to want material things or to want things in your life to be different. It’s just when we hang our hat on it — when we go away thinking that the whole of our happiness rests on those things — that we cause suffering. I can wish until the cows go domiciliate that I was a great artist. And there is nothing wrong with pursuing art classes practicing etc. But when my happiness depends on the outcome of actually becoming that great artist I pictured in my head there is where the danger lies.
undergo you ever seen a man who is in love with his car? He spends hours polishing it waxing it tinkering with the engine. Have you ever seen a woman and her infant? Does she leave it alone simply because it is ameliorate as it is? No. The baby is perfect to her and yet she wants the best for it. She cuddles it kisses it feeds it and plans for its future. Where is the contrast?
And. I beg you evaluate of the opposite. How many self-improvement projects originate in from a lack of self-acceptance and self-love? How many of us meditate work out volunteer at a charity go looking for a lover drive ourselves to earn more - to alter a deep sense of “not enough”? ”
Zen does not communicate of desire only students of Zen and its interpreters speak of desire. All Zen tries to tell you is that suffering is a result of being separated from wholesomeness or oneness. And that this separation is only in your mind it is the ultimate illusion. Zen tells you that the mind strives to maintain this comprehend of separation through various ways including desire as desire only exists in duality. And what drives desire? When all is said and done isn’t it the potential for happiness? But you’re not attached to your desire which means your happiness doesn’t hang on the fulfilment of your desire so what drives your desire? World peace? Saving the planet? Very noble to be sure but really it’s all about feeling good with you. And if you are not attached to the outcome what is there to desire? What drives you? Aren’t you already happy? Yes… No… Agh! Brain fart!And Zen ordain tell you that this is ok because everything just is… that’s it… just is. Nothing is good or bad peaceful or violent… it just is. You cannot be but what you are which is to say you are nothing which makes you everything. Meaningless gibberish? No disbelieve. There is nothing to reconcile where Zen is concerned. wish attachment suffering happiness… it just is. And sometimes the question arises: How do I become whole again? How do I go to oneness? Again that question comes from the mind as a trick to keep you in duality. How is it a trick? By asking the challenge the mind makes you accept that being whole is something to desire something to become… something separate from you and thus you board on a “spiritual” search to find your higher self or soul or whatever thus enforcing the illusion of separation: “I am me and I have a higher self”. “I am a Zen Buddhist and you are a Christian” all labels all tricks. Your mind ordain make you turn to gurus teachers or books it will give you “experiences” flashes of intuition dreams out-of-body flights all of which will strengthen your belief that you exist separate from all around you displace from your guru or from your experience. And as you “progress” you will feel more important and your guru will feel more important and perhaps one day you will have this radiate and you will say “Aha! I get it now! Now. I am enlightened!” and of course that will be a cozen too. It ordain be a trick because no one can be enlightened because enlightenment is the realisation that there is no one here to be enlightened. Only no-one can awaken. And when no-one awakens no-one laughs laughs at the joke it plays on itself. So just know yourself observe your mind truly sight it for that is zazen. undergo desires or not be attached or not desire peace or not. learn zazen while you are working on your desires while you are yelling at your kids or swearing at the driver who cut you off. Watch your thoughts. Do not contend them do not stop them do not question them or back up them. The mind quietens when it is scrutinised and once the object is quiet all is done without doing. Wei Wu Wei action through non-action. Hold no beliefs not even Zen. Not even what is written here. Just be.
On topic. I believe that if we genuinely strive to alter we hit the books to evaluate who we are. And of cover our identity isn’t determined by the job we are performing… Boring or alter: it doesn’t matter.
In fact the separation of our core identity and the role we are performing is even trickier to remember if you are working in a company/role that is socially regarded as alter. You are not your company regardless of what they want you to believe…
Sounds desire a paradox but it doesn’t have to be so. Buddhism focuses of ‘being in the now’. That means caring for the now and experience who you are and what you feel alter now. To “see” yourself the world and yourself in the world as it is.
Now I think “striving” for goals and perfection in itself is a contradiction to “being in the now”. So let’s try something else and turn it all upside down. Let’s act focusing on the now but instead of sitting on your bum and hum you start doing what you love to do. This means let go of the ‘wish’ to grow but instead just act in a way that feels good to you.
I reckon growth and eventually perfection will then come by itself. And it ordain be a helluva lot easier than when you try to force it upon yourself by swimming against the stream and focus on the thing called ‘growth’ that is not a “thing” in itself but a concept. Buddhism isn’t a concept but a way of life. And that is what growth should be.
I think the idea about desires is an oxymoron and therefore I don’t take it literally. IF you be to disconnect from desires you comfort have the desire to disconnect FROM DESIRES. What about that one?
I do a Dale Carnegie course alter now where we work with visualisation and mental training. Where you act think and feel as you are already the person you want to be.
Striving for excellence is very important for me to,but I am very cautions when every the term “ameliorate”and “perfectionism” arrive because people often schedule themselves for unhappiness.
To reach for the stars is good as desire as you are calm with yourself if you don’t reach them but comfort very eager to pursue your goals and ideals.
How we reconcile acceptance with striving? That’s a good question and one that many of my Zen students wrestle with. I evaluate it’s important to ask what kind of acceptance are we talking about here. Does this mean that we blindly accept injustice persecution poverty and so on? I hope not! Or does it mean that we are willing to experience the present moment fully—without wanting it to be different?
Is the striving ambition or is it aspiration? There’s a world of difference between the two. Ambition is the wish to be different from how we are. That’s a self-centred desire that often has its roots in a self-dislike. Aspiration is the heartfelt desire to unfold our full potential—and to encourage others to do that to. Spiritual practice encourages aspiration. One of the teachers way back in my lineage said. “I want to be a channelise offering shade to all beings.” A grand aspiration!
From a Zen point of believe the rub is this: On one transfer we are already perfect and end just as we are right now. There is nothing missing at all. On the other hand we need to develop in our spiritual practice to truly see into that perfection. Mary Jaksch.
It’s an interesting topic: suffering and craving. Recently an $800 overdraft made me forbid and realize how I was craving and suffering because of it. One second after something is new it is not. One back up after you acquire anything it owns you. I am trying to loosen my attachment to the material world but I am having little success. One major impediment is my attachment to stamp collecting and model trains. But: is it bad that I enjoy these hobbies? I have made friends because of them and have learned much that can be applied to becoming a better person. Perhaps it is not what we are attached to but what the effect is that attachments have on us. If we are alter and deaf to the suffering of others and do not want to take their suffering on us; if we crave only to fill a void then we may be on the wrong path. Our efforts should be to relieve our suffering through taking on the suffering of others so that they may be happy which in turn brings us happiness.
“How do you reconcile the zen idea of reducing desires and just being with the desire to leave a boring job?”The zen idea is not only to reduce desire but also to reduce suffering. You do not really have a “desire” to leave the boring job but rather undergo the wish to reduce the boredom. And of course you can be the one you are at any moment. You are in the end nothing else than someone who wants to reduce suffering.
Thanks to everyone for sharing their obviously heartfelt and hard-won insights (and for presenting them in such literate graceful words — what a refreshing dress from the usual misspelled shouting matches online).
Self desire or self improvement is not necessarily bad. Siddhartha (Buddha) used to starve himself before he realized that starving himself was hurting his be at which inform he was not working towards helping others to decrease and end suffering. If you are miserable at your job you are creating suffering within yourself and others because at some aim you are affecting them due to your unhappiness. I personally believe that in the end as long as you understand that the grass isn’t greener on the other align and that it is just different grass with some more positive attributes you ordain be ok. Thinking that if I only could get that new job and my life will be perfect will just lead to more craving and more suffering.
I have to second what Mary said. When I learned the difference between Desire and Aspiration the whole issue cleared up for me. Aspiration encourages the pursuit of what makes us happy (which can make us pretty happy in itself). The cozen is remaining open to where those aspirations can bring about you and not being so attached to a pre-determined goal that you overlook unexpected outcomes.
What would you do if you really knew yourself? I think that that is the challenge that Zen Buddhism asks. Self improvement is not self improvement because we don’t experience ourselves. That is why we get sold a bill of goods. For instance do you work out because you have flabby abs or because you like to convey your body? evaluate about it. There is huge difference. The difference between the two is what zen asks about. In all fairness why do you sit? In a wish to alter yourself?
To desire a different way of life,or a exceed life is seeking improvement. We are here to hit the books from our mistakes and to grow. So to wish improvement is of value. We need to assay to be aware of self while living our daily lives. The more aware we are of self the better connected we are to our higher self. The higher self ordain lead us into better choices in our daily lives. That is why we cerebrate to connect with the higher self so that we make better decisions each moment of our life. I think the key evince here is attachment. If we remember what we are,it is difficult to be attached to all the material aspects of our lives. Stay centered in your self and your choices of life will have to be closer to what the higher self wants you to hit the books.
The way I try to see it is that I can accept that the show moment is what it is and wish for something to be different in the future. I think the challenge comes when people then go away trying to make the present moment the future or are frustrated that the show moment isn’t the future ideal.
So how to get around this? I think its a express of object (like so many things) that you accept what is as what is but the very nature of the future is that it will be a different moment.
The other thing to consider is that without accepting the true nature of the show moment you ordain undergo a much harder time in trying to see the path to the future as you’ll never know exactly where you’re starting from.
I’m not trying to destroy desires but I am egest of my job and thinking of moving to a new city. But I’ve construe Zen Mind. Beginners Mind and it has such an emphasis on being show that I wonder where there is dwell to think about the future.
Still. I can’t back up but feel desire move of zen philosophy is to get you to cognise that your problems have more to do with you than with the world.
At some point though it doesn’t make sense to try and fix them (such as in an extreme case of spousal abuse) but instead you should leave them.
So I undergo a life that I am unhappy with. It seems like Zen says that the problem is me and that I should focus on being present. And I’m sure it is me in that I created the life I have. But some things only dress by changing the outer circumstances. Of course if the distinction is artificial maybe trying to dress the outer circumstances is fine but you should recognize the things in you that created those circumstances.
Nick. I think you are on the right bring in. You can not go in and change the environment of the company you bring home the bacon for but you can dress your environment. If you can not move to a different department then put the energy out to help you sight a more positive environment in your job. It may require you to act away and then maybe not. To sit in meditation all day does not get things done. You be to play an active move of your life. The better you are connected with your soul,essence higher self then the exceed your decisions will be about your life.
It is a common misconception that Buddhism says you must drop your desires. What the Buddha said was that desires are the cause of “suffering” or another translation discontent. It is when we attach ourselves to those desires that they become the create not having them in the first place. If your desire to become a exceed person is something to which you change state so attached that you can’t answer properly in the moment then you undergo a problem. It is also when your mind begins to move that you will undergo a problem. If in addition to saying to yourself. “I would desire to alter the way I relate to people,” you begin creating a story or lengthy tale about it then you ordain probably run into problems. It is the go that happens on top of the moment that the Zen Buddhist is trying to quiet. I would desire to improve myself by …….. No ProblemWhat if that isn’t the right desire? What if I’m being selfish? What if I don’t improve and people hate me? What if I’m not doing this right? …. checking checking checking ….. Problem
I think you are making this more complicated than it is. Self-improvement is not a obtain of suffering denial of the moment or even a desire. The Dalia Lama wants to move back to his home of Tibet but also accepts in the moment that he is not there.
It would seem the desire to improve is ok provided the motivation comes from 1) helping others 2) the desire to improve is not fueled by a sense of suffering but a recognition of your injecting suffering into the world 3) you can accept your imperfections in the moment.
Before discovering Buddhism. I was very belligerent to my family. I obviously had to improve myself. It was through the meditation and practice that I learned to evaluate my feelings of anger but not to act on them to be compassionate.
If you can get past this question the next step is what zen says about goals:When trying to arrive a goal take a straight-line path toward it. If the path is clear you ordain reach it quickly. If not you will encounter obstacles. Wait until you encounter an obstacle before exploring alter paths. (In other words don’t be a stumbling block in your own path.)Everything in life is a goal. Getting up to get a drink of wet is a goal. The point to zen is: if something is on your mind go and do it. If while washing the dishes you think your bed needs to be made go and alter the bed. Returning to the dishes if the floor needs to be swept go sweep the floor. This is practicing mindfulness and if you are master at anything in life you are master of it all. And the formlessness of a master will dictate what is most important what is worthy of your time and guide you to the next task.
I have learned that you may undergo whatever you want as long as you are prepared to lose it. It’s the attachment and grasping to not lose it that brings the suffering.
Example: You can love having that Mercedes. But if you are in hock up to your eyeballs to get it and then freak out when it gets some dirt or a scratch then you are suffering needlessly. Your ego is attached to all the labels that car gives you (rich powerful secure etc.). Why do you need these labels? They are not YOU.
Meditation helps inform you what your “buttons” are those root things. Understanding your obstacles helps you overcome them. Getting back to your true Self means understanding all the reasons why your personality reacts to the normal stimulus of life (mom didn’t love me. I got lost when I was five. I want the security of the “American Dream” etc etc etc.)
For the lousy work environment. BEEN THERE. First step change how you view it. Your job is a resource. Choose to make it a good experience. Be the employee you wish everyone else was. Get off the grapevine (and it can be lonely without it!). Watch your intentions… why do you want another job? Why are you not circumscribe at this one? Is there no way to dress it? Ok then. Look for a new job. But cognise that your job does not define your happiness.
Contentment is the secret to a happy life. And everything you be to be content is alter inside you right now. You just have to find it and be true to it.
A standard American primer on Zen is Persig’s “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.” I evaluate it addresses the question quite well. One furnish is simply this: It is the jaunt not the destination that we should be focused on. That does not convey we do not undergo a destination or a plan but it does mean that our plans are likely to change as a result of our experience of the journey and we need to learn to accept this.
I have desire since lost it but at one time had a notecard (before termpapers were written on computers) with a ingeminate from Persig about “stuckness.” Get the book read it and along the way find the communicate about being stuck. It applies to Nick having trouble being happy with his situation and his inability or frustration in changing it. It also applies to the question of how to reconcile living in the moment and working towards goals.
Alan Watts’ schedule. “The Way of Zen,” as recommended by account K in the first post above is also very good but not as much on-point to the question at transfer.
I have noticed that when I do really “great” things or make big accomplishments I always have the feeling that I really didn’t do anything at all. Quite often I will feel the way I did before I achieved whatever thing I set out to achieve.
I think Zen points out the reality that accomplishments are just illusions that furnish us a sense of progression and in that way can be obstacles to what is paradoxically the greatest accomplishment of all- enlightenment.
This is why enlightenment has been called “The Gateless furnish.” And in all accomplishments we can experience this sense that the thing we strived so hard to bring home the bacon is not very important at all.
But that doesn’t convey to stop trying to achieve things. Rather it allows us to recognize the adjust enable that comes from accomplishing great things- the reminder that each moment contains within it the fruits of all our labor and that the great consider is outside the bonds of circumstance.
I agree with both of attach’s previous comments. I am a Quaker though I sight many points of intersection with Buddhism. I accept we do need to put some conscious effort not so much into self-improvement but into becoming more authentically our true selves. Yet even that is somethign we can’t get too attached to. As the Serenity Prayer says we be to try to change those things that should be changed but evaluate the limits of our power as come up.
Acceptance of a situation doesn’t mean agreeing with it or condoning it. It just means seeing things as they are not as you want them to be (either more positively or more negatively). The Buddhist path is one of improvement: There is suffering; suffering is caused by wish; there is a aid for suffering; and the cure is the dharma.
Accept that you are or soon will be suffering; see what desires are causing you to experience; realize that you can improve your situation; and improve it.
I kinda of like what dimmak says. Sometimes we get so caught up in answering our own questions that we just need to go run around the block as it were. Try to gain a new perspective. I think striving to alter oneself is fine. It’s our attachment to a pre-decided outcome that causes trouble. Go ahead try new things (a calculated assay now and then even) work to alter yourself and hopefully the world in the process but just don’t get so hung up on what you’ve deemed the only good outcome because that exact outcome will probably not go to pass. Enjoy the journey.
I’ve had affect reconciling the need to improve as well as accept myself but I find that the most trouble comes with the terms acceptance contentment etc. In “The Art of Happiness at bring home the bacon” the Dalai Lama is quoted as saying:
“…you shouldn’t confuse contentment with complacency. You shouldn’t mistake being content with one’s job with just sort of not caring not wanting to grow not wanting to learn just staying where one is when one’s situation is bad and not change surface making the effort to go and to learn and to achieve something better.” (His Holiness the Dalai Lama. & Cutler. Howard C. The Art of Happiness at Work p28)
His distinction between “contentment” (aka acceptance) and “complacency” (spiritual laziness?) is what really helped be reconcile acceptance and striving for improvement.
Imagine yourself on a long car ride going go across country on a pass vacation without benefit of a/c dvds portable music etc (just desire when you were a kid right?). object now you are an adult and your three adult sibs are packed into the family displace wagon along with your distance father and unhappy mother. (Secretly your extended family refers to your parents as the Bickersons.)Anyway its hot its cramped its negative etc.
Being in the moment means living fully in the moment of this experience. Does that mean you join in the bickering? No way. It means you be the change you want to see in this less than ideal environment. Don’t poke your sibs act in the vast countryside passing by the car windows evaluate about the personalities and relationships in the car.
Now as your trip progresses you family car stops at some distant dusty crossroads. Low and behold there is your significant other smiling at you holding out their hand asking you to get out of the car and join them.
The family station wagon is the boring job dead-end relationship or other current less than stellar circumstance that impacts your life. It is not contradictory to accept it for what it is yet comfort remain present in it without making it worse.
Your significant other represents your desires. When those desirious opportunities present themselves step out of your present situation and embrace them.
The point is not to jump out of the car before the opportunity presents itself. If you do that you ordain experience a frustrating lonely goosehunt where your significant other is no where in sight.
Leo (and Nick),Continue the lie of questioning and be sure to ask who is the You that needs improving and who is the You that is observing that need.
Know that what we speak of as “acceptance” is often denial in conceal The battered wife is not practicing “acceptance” by staying in her situation for example; she is in fact denying herself the gift (and charge) of expressing Who She Really Is and in doing so is suppressing her authenic self. The false her (”ego”) is “accepting its place” (in the abusive situation)… but it is FALSE! It can never become anything else or “improve,” even if it “accepts” until she is finally beaten to death because it is only a disguise.
assay for authenticity to become Who You Are the complete and adjust expression of who you are meant to be. Who you really are. That “You” is the one who is perfect.
But that’s not the “You” who is defined by the rules and rituals your parents and society gave you or by the job you undergo and hate.
I act say just from what I see here that the true “You” does not belong in your current job and the ambivalence you sense is a choose of Jungian communicate from the subconscious about your next step towards authenticity.
If you stay in your boring dead-end job because you don’t want to be goal-oriented all you’ve done is change a perfectly logical goal (better job and more happiness) for a completely illogical one (not having a goal).
The communicate in the bottle is simply this: “If you must have a goal (and you must) make it reasonable and worthwhile.” The process of deriving it logically from the contradiction just helps the student recognize it as a pure truth.
Self-improvement is a natural process for most of us. Most of us be nice things; comforting things be they fine furniture in a fancy house or simply a good set of tools with which to fulfill a hobby. Why then would someone cancel their life of these natural and enjoyable things? Why would they deliberately impose idleness boredom and a comprehend of pointlessness on themselves? That isn’t alter thinking or right action at all.
It’s accepted wisdom that if you are tired lie down and be. If you’re hungry then eat. So if you see a chance to alter something in your life and be this improvement you should take the opportunity.
If your goals are wholesome and will exceed not only your own life but those around you then I’d say those are good goals to pursue and not in conflict with Buddhist ideas.
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Related article:
http://zenhabits.net/2007/11/ask-the-readers-how-do-you-reconcile-acceptance-with-striving-to-improve/
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